This week we are thinking about influence. How much do you have, and do you have it over the people that matter? Brendon Burchard offers tips on Influence in his bestselling book - High-Performance Habits. Below we have consolidated his key lessons on yielding more influence.
Influence is the ability to shape other people's beliefs and behaviours as you desire
When you have more influence, your kids listen to you more. You resolve conflicts faster. You get the projects you ask or fight for. You can get more buy-in to your ideas. You make more sales. You lead better. You're more likely to become a CEO, senior executive, or successfully self-employed. Your self-confidence goes up and so does your performance.
Do not underestimate the willingness of others to engage and help you. In studies, people tend to say yes over three times as much as people thought they would. Think about all the times you could have got what you wanted if you just asked!
Give something before you ask for something. Reciprocation is a powerful social force.
Show sincere appreciation for others. Around half of the workforce feels undervalued by their employer, if you are the one showing appreciation you will build goodwill, trust and loyalty.
Teach People How to Think
When you use phrases such as the following you are teaching others how to think:
Think of it this way... What do you think about..? What if we tried...? How should we approach...?
We do this naturally but to increase your influence start doing this more consciously to the people who you want to develop. Consider how you want this person to think about themselves? How do you want them to think about other people? How do you want them to think about the world? High performers know that they alone cannot do all the thinking and they need to raise the level of the people around them and get them thinking for themselves.
Challenge People to Grow
High performers challenge the people around them to rise to higher levels of performance themselves. They consistently challenge others to raise the bar. High performers love a challenge, they thrive on it and so they can receive constructive critique and are willing to give it to others. High performers challenge in the following ways:
Character - they expect people to live up to universal values such as honesty, integrity, responsibility and self-control.
Connection - they challenge others about how they treat and add value to the lives of other people.
Contribution - they push others to be giving their all, look ahead and to be more creative.
Role Model the Way
71% of high performers say they think about how they are role model to others on a daily basis. While we all want to be a good role models to others, the high performers are deliberate about how they want to be role models in order to achieve specific goals. It doesn't work to just tell someone to do something, they first need to see that behaviour in you. To be influential, you need to open yourself up to be influenced. You need to ask questions, listen and show respect. To gain trust from others you need to first give trust to others. Whatever the behaviour is that you seek from someone else, first look inwards and ask yourself if you are demonstrating the same behaviour towards them.